My Loneliness

( Part 32 )

 

The rest of the day passed without much change. We returned home and my husband arrived to Bahrain. The first few days were kind of uneventful. We were on the phone every day, to the best of our ability, as the time change, however, interfered a little with getting organized. When my husband had a moment before work, I was still sleeping, while in the evening, when he had time, there was a lot going on at our place. After all, I was alone with four small children and a dog, so everything, literally, was on my mind. I had to reorganize my whole day. I had to send everyone to school in the morning, do the shopping, cook dinner, pick up everyone at different times, do the homework, make dinner, give them a bath and put them to bed, and go out with the dog several times a day. Of course, there were also days when I had to do laundry or clean the house, not to mention other emergencies and, of course, Polish school every Saturday. But I quickly managed to get everything together, even found time for morning Mass and sometimes for a quick coffee with my friends 😉.

 

 

Imagination versus reality

 

My loneliness looked a bit different during the whole time of my husband’s absence than I had imagined it would look like. I was seemingly alone, but there was a lot going on and a lot of people around me. Everyone was very supportive and helped me as much as they could. I was pleasantly surprised. God made sure that I was not bored and that I did not miss my husband so much. It was a very fruitful time. I don’t regret a single minute of it.

Already at the beginning of my “loneliness” I met a new friend, also Polish, who had a child in the same school as ours and also a dog. Kasia, as her name is, played a big role during my lonely way without a husband. I owe a lot to her. She occupied a place in my heart. We went for walks together with the dogs, we picked up each other’s children from school if necessary, and above all, she kept me company. We became very close. At that time, she was one of the two closest people to me. We spent a lot of time together, and I felt like I had gained a sister. Always welcoming and her door was open for me at any time. I felt like I was part of the family, and also the dog gained a companion to play with 😉.

 

Kodi and Nero

My second companion during this “solitude” was Agnieszka, with whom we have known each other since our children started going to the same school. A long time. Our relationship has survived all my moves from Ireland. I could always drop in for a coffee and more, or she would come to me. She also spent a lot of time with me at that point.

I believe it’s a long-term friendship, because whether we call each other often or after a long time, I always feel like we heard each other yesterday.

 

Crazy wife 😉

 
April went by so fast that I didn’t notice that it was already May and Anne was coming to visit me again. Each time, I look forward to each of her arrivals just as much. Our morning walks to Mass and delicious coffee at a friend’s house were a plaster on my heart.
In the evenings, over a cup of tea, Anna would tell me what she had learned at the retreats she attended. It was a very good time for me in terms of spiritual development. These conversations filled me again with the strength I needed for the time ahead. They made my mood change. Over time, my approach to life slowly started to change as well. I started to let go more and more and to understand why things were happening in my life at that particular moment. I began to share this with my husband. At first he pretended to listen, but it was obvious that he wasn’t interested in what I was trying to tell him. Some God’s stuff. No wonder. A wife left alone with four children, for unknown how long, she started to go crazy. He probably thought so and waited for me to get over it. Well, he was lucky enough, being so far away, with not too much frequency of conversation, that he somehow survived it 😉.

Let’s face it, I wasn’t so out of my mind to have everyone looking at me as I am crazy. I just stayed open and accepted what was given to me. I also didn’t nag anyone or urge conversion. As I say, the right time will come for everyone.

 

Not only did Anna’s visits bring changes into my life, but also into the life of our eldest son. He decided that he wanted to become an altar boy. I must admit that he even liked it. It’s always a new experience, and to experience Mass from such a place is an honour 🥰. 

I will describe this sphere one day in the My Horizon category.

Putting it all together, I can say that I have become stronger spiritually, which has helped me a lot in parting and getting through this time.

 

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Moment for You